11 sure signs you are an escort

Just like in any profession, there are some definitive signs that, without a doubt, identify you as a representative in your industry. For instance, a proofreader notices spelling and grammar errors in any flyer, invoice, newspaper article or other document they may see. Therapists may unconsciously analyze a friend or acquaintance. A mechanic notices squeaks or other oddities in a vehicle that the driver may never discern. Escorts have their own set of things that, in their own ways, define them. If any of these apply to you, it is sure that you are a dedicated, certified escort!

  1. Your escort name seems more real to you than your real name. If you find yourself giving your escort name when you call to pay a bill online, report in at the dentist’s office or sign up for something, it’s a sign that you identify yourself as much with your escort persona as you do the real you. It’s pretty common to confuse the two, especially when you are constantly immersed in your professional world, where you are who you say you are in your profile or website. It’s easy to mistakenly give the wrong name, especially when you’re so accustomed to giving your escort name so regularly.
  2. You always pay in cash… for everything. Paying for gas or a bag of groceries with cash isn’t really that uncommon, however paying for a living room full of new furniture with cash is something of a rarity. Always having cash on hand from your work doesn’t seem that odd to you, however in a world where debit cards and virtual funds are the norm, cash is unusual.
  3. You carry two or more phones with you everywhere… and sometimes get them confused. It’s common for escorts to have a phone for work and one for their personal lives. And, if they are similar at all, it’s even easier to forget which one you’re answering. Friends and family members may find it odd that you carry more than one phone, too, even when you explain that one phone is for the “office”.
  4. You have a more extensive array of sex toys than you do kitchen gadgets. You don’t have a salad shooter or the latest slicer device, but you have the new twirly, whirly, light-up vibrator.
  5. You aren’t the least bit curious about what your local (or not-so-local) adult superstore has to offer. Because you work in a world where sex toys, lube and erotic videos are the norm, the inventory of adult stores doesn’t shock or embarrass you, like many of your friends or family members. As you pass by, you don’t even indulge yourself in a sneaky, curious look in the window.
  6. You wouldn’t be caught dead out in public with your “work” clothes on. Friends invite you to go clubbing, arriving to pick you up in slutty, revealing attire. One look at them and you think to yourself, “I’d never wear that anywhere other than with clients!” Other women don’t have regular opportunities to “sex it up,” so they take advantage of these opportunities and wonder why you don’t.
  7. You can remake the bed in under two minutes… flat! Because you sometimes have clients booked back-to-back (which isn’t always a good idea), you have learned to make up a bed quickly! Fresh sheets, clean pillow cases and the pillows perfectly placed — you have perfected your bed-making method, while it usually takes others much longer to make up a bed.
  8. You don’t bat an eye at the thought that 80-year-old men have sex and like toys, too. Some of your best clients are elderly men. For you, the realization that men of all ages enjoy sex is not a new one. You know that age does not cause men to outlive horniness, perversion or the ability to appreciate the beauty of the human body.
  9. You don’t understand why you get strange looks when you buy condoms in bulk at the store. Never blinking an eye, you routinely take them up to the register to buy them, barely noticing that the clerk’s eyes nearly pop out when you sees the stash of contraceptives you’ve got on the counter.
  10. You determine clothing purchases by how easy they are to remove. As an escort, it’s essential that you can sexily and easily remove your clothing when it comes that time during an encounter with a client. If a garment is awkward to take off, it certainly takes away from the sex appeal of its appearance for the client. Other women don’t ever use this as a factor when choosing work clothes.
  11. You know your way around and the rates for every decent hotel in the area. Out-of-the-way elevators, back entrances and parking garages are very familiar to you, along with the names of the concierge and desk clerks, too. You can quote the rates for weekday and weekend nights easily, along with knowing holiday rates, too. Be careful with this knowledge, though. Unless your cover story is that you work in the hospitality industry (which is true), your family and friends may suspect something is up with your extensive hotel knowledge.