Should escorts even worry about seduction?

It is easy enough to think of escorting as a pretty matter-of-fact transaction. The escort advertises her availability, the client spots the ad and gets in touch, a fee for time is worked out and the transaction is completed, often with more than a few consenting adult activities. Nothing complicated there.

“Of course you could run your escort business like that.” said Sylvie a twenty eight year old escort from a smaller city in the South, “but where is the fun in that? And where are the regulars?”

by Hannah Jay

“I made the decision to become an escort very deliberately. I had done a bit of sugaring in college but that was a bit unsatisfying. Never really that much money and the guys who paid you your “allowance” seemed to think they had the right to tell you what to do and when to do it. They were more than a little creepy.

But they did show me that men were more than willing to pay, and pay well, for the company of a sophisticated young woman. Which was a start. However, I realized that if I was going to escort, even in my little city, I needed to offer something the other girls were not. What?

I went back to basics.

I am five foot five, five eight in heels I can walk in. I have dirty blonde hair and a slim figure. I am certainly pretty and with a little make up I can look quite glamourous. Which is a start.

A lot of the girls in my city were offering things like “the girlfriend experience” or “girl next door”; I knew I was neither. In fact, when I was sugaring, what I liked to do is play a bit hard to get. While, at the same time, making it very obvious that I was well worth getting.

I was using the name “Sylvie”. It is French and it reminds men of a certain age of Sylvia Kristel who was a soft porn actress and the star of the Emmanuelle movies in the early 1970’s. They won’t remember the movies – which I have watched – but the name itself triggers a certain reaction in men over 50.

I wanted those men. Over 40 really. They have the money and they know what they want. More importantly, they are much more aware of a few of the feminine pleasures which I wanted to bring to my work.

The other piece of my escorting persona which I wanted to put forward is a bit of the sorority girl. Even now sororities are very much a thing in the South with only the prettiest girls being invited to join. There is a certain sorority girl/Junior League style which I find interesting to play with.

It is, I am the first to admit, an odd sort of mash up but I thought it could work. The story I wanted to tell and have my escorting clients believe is that I am a sorority girl obsessed with all things French – from lingerie to couture, great bread to fine wine.

For me escorting begins with telling a particular story to the potential clients and that meant making sure my ads and my website all had a theme. “Seductions by Sylvie” was the headline. I really thought about the content of the ads and the site.

First off, really good, professionally taken, pictures. I worked out a wardrobe and a hairstyle for the first shoot which I have used, with lots of changes, for every shoot since. I have an excellent hair dresser who keeps my hair in a well-trimmed, fairly long, bob. If I want to look a bit glamourous a bit of a blow dry and some back combing and I look like I stepped off the pages of Elle. No backcombing and I am much more a nice Junior League girl from Town and Country. In my ad photos I am in half light, usually fully dressed with just a hint of a lacy bra or the top of a stocking showing. I make sure I have a nice bracelet or a cuff and matching necklace. One set of ad photos I was really pleased with was just a series of shots of me with my head turned away from the camera wearing a very pretty, thin, cashmere sweater. I have a very clever quarter bra which supports my breasts but doesn’t cover them. A slight cold breeze, well actually a good hard pinch, and I am effectively naked and erect under a cashmere sheath.

I want my ads and my pictures to whet my potential clients’ appetite. As you know, escorting is competitive. And nowhere is the competition fiercer than for that 10 or 15% of the market composed of executives, lawyers and other professionals who have lots of money but who are taking a bit of a risk visiting an escort. What I have tried to do with Sylvie is make her mysterious, distinctive and approachable.

My plan was to do mainly incalls at my apartment. One of my sugar clients paid the rent on a pretty, older, two bedroom apartment near downtown but in a very safe neighbourhood. Mostly students so there are lots of people around and a fair bit of coming and going until quite late. Part of attracting the right sort of escorting clients is making sure that your incall location reassures those clients. My location was exactly the sort of neighbourhood a sorority girl would live in before she got married.

On my website I emphasize safety and seduction. It is a bit lighthearted as I actually have a cute little drawing of my five steps to a perfect seduction: bath, dressing, greeting and drinks, a get to know me strip tease and then an open door with a bed behind it. All very girly and French.

My website makes it very clear that every client must give me the information which allows me to thoroughly screen. While, in my city, escorts are rarely subject to much law enforcement scrutiny, I want to be able to confirm the identity of every man I see. And I want the men I see to know that I will be screening.

It is difficult to portray “seduction” visually. The little drawing helps by making it fun. But there is also a certain style to what I’ve written and the main galleries of pictures on my site. Those pictures are far more about what remains hidden: my face is never shown and there is next to no nudity. You can convey a great deal about how you approach the escorting business by how you set up your site. I wanted mine to be a little bit romantic, a bit old fashioned but, most of all, suggestive rather than blatant.

Words matter. Sure, men like pictures, but they can be seduced with a little bit of clever language: “intriguing”, “mysterious”, “a bit of a tease” – not at all what you see on most escort sites. Like most escorting websites I have my rates posted. I really only have a three sorts of dates which vary by duration but I also have what I call my Good Girl Gone Bad a la carte selections to encourage my clients to stray a little from the well-worn path. Each selection is linked to a gallery of my naughtier pictures – strap ons, a little riding crop, me in a really tacky little dress and stripper heels, another set of me in a cute little school girl outfit. But the emphasis is on “seduction”.

While I am happy to use email I really prefer to speak with my potential clients. Because that is where the seduction begins. I’m a smart girl and I don’t have time for time wasters so I never discuss services or prices over the phone. But I am happy to ask a potential client what he would prefer I wear on our date and that, in itself, can lead to all sorts of delightful teasing. I’m business like but I make a point never to be in a hurry.

Seduction takes a bit of time. One of the things my clients really get is the time they are paying for. My minimum first date is an hour and a half and that almost always takes an actual two hours. I see first dates as investments. My client finds out if he likes me and I find out if I want to see him again. So I never rush.

Consenting adult activities are not, at least at my house, a given at the start of the date. I have spent ten minutes with a client and given him his money back – which is awkward. But I like a certain tension at the beginning of a date whether it is with a regular or a first timer. It is a worn out metaphor, but visiting an escort is just like going out for dinner: you can go to your local MacDonalds and have a burger, or you can drop into a sports bar and have a burger and a beer or you can go for the full on fine dining experience. Different escorts offer different experiences at different price points. I like to think of the experience I offer as casual fine dining. You don’t have to dress up but the food will be superb and the presentation perfect.

Seduction is as much about atmosphere as it is about anything overt. As I am the feature I like to leave myself plenty of time to get ready. Even on a busy day where I have a date in the afternoon, one for cocktails and one for evening I make sure I have at least an hour in between to prepare.

For my first date of the day or evening I like to have a nice long bath. While I would love to use a really pretty scented bath oil the fact is that unless I know it is ok, it is best to see a client scent free. There is no point in putting him on the spot when he gets home to his wife or girlfriend with a light hint of cinnamon spice. Or perfume. So I use unscented products. A bath an hour before my client arrives lets me focus on Sylvie. What will she wear? Does she know her gentleman caller? If she does what does he enjoy? If she doesn’t know him, what did he say on the phone? How long is the booking? How old is he?

I could lie there in the warm water for hours but I don’t. I get up and, if I have washed my hair, put in big rollers to get a wave. I look an unseductive sight wandering around my apartment in my ratty housecoat tidying, dusting, running a vacuum across the carpets, putting fresh sheets on the bed and fresh towels in my bathroom. I usually have a bit of cheese and some very good bread ready to go. If I know my caller I will offer wine if appropriate; but with new clients I leave it at designer water. Alcohol can get in the way.

Three quarters of an hour before my date arrives I change from my ratty housecoat to a pretty wrap I keep for putting on my makeup and dressing. I can do the light make up I use on my face in ten minutes if I am rushed but I like to have twenty to get it right. I also use a very light powder – with a powder puff and all – all over my body. It is more than a little sexy to stand naked in my three sided mirror powdering this and that.

Then lingerie. The basic rule of seduction is that good things come to those who wait. Lingerie, really pretty, usually expensive, lingerie is the gift wrapping for the good things. It really does not take much to own good lingerie. Just a little research. Find a decent lingerie shop and get to know a sales clerk who “gets it”. If I have two tip they would be: never buy a molded cup bra except for the gym, lace is always prettier and never buy thongs or skimpy panties as they are uncomfortable and discomfort is never seductive. I wear stockings and therefore a garter belt or even a vampish girdle from Labour Day until May. I like full slips which I tend to buy vintage and online. I actually own what are known as lingerie gloves which are thin sheer gloves which ensure your fingers and, most importantly, your nails, never touch your delicate stockings or the pretty lace of your bra or panty. Nothing worse than snagging a pair of thirty dollar seamed hose before they have had their moment in the spotlight.

I finish my basic makeup in my slip and then put on whatever outfit I am wearing. I prefer dresses or a skirt and blouse. So, apparently, do my clients. I don’t wear tight clothes but I make sure that the fact Sylvie is a girl is apparent. A lot of seduction is about letting a man catch glimpses of what awaits him. A slightly décolletage neck line or a clever slit in your skirt will let a girl give him those glimpses.

Once I have dressed and I have slipped on my shoes – mid heel unless my client has specifically asked for ultra high – I usually have about ten minutes before my date arrives. I really do believe that a lot of escorting is about ambiance. Music. I have a number of really wonderful jazz CDs. Cool jazz from the 50’s which sort of floats out of my bookshelf speakers. I also have a couple of jazz streaming stations I like. But, the advantage of a CD is that I can pick my moment to get up and change the CD. Seduction is all about growing closer as the date progresses. I often start out in my comfortable arm chair and only after establishing a connection do I move to the sofa.

I’ve paid attention to the lighting in both my living room and in the bedroom. Warm, indirect light from table lamps and a couple of clever spotlights aimed at some gorgeous mildly erotic prints I found online in the living room. In the bedroom I just have three small lights: one beside the bed, one on my dressing table and one on my dresser. I like low wattage bulbs. I love to be looked at but I don’t need harsh light. I want my client to have to use his imagination.

There is a story, likely apocryphal, that French women never let their husbands see them naked. True or not I think that is a good policy. I work out, I have a nice body but a little shyness is, I think, very attractive in a woman. Part of seduction is building a mystery and that is what I try to do.

I treat all my escorting clients as gentlemen and I expect them to treat me as a lady. I may be an escort but what I am selling is not about all sorts of groping or coarse language. Of course, when we retire to the bedroom there will likely be a point where we move to a different plane; but when I greet my client and when I spend time with him before we come to the point, I demand, and get, good manners.

The wonderful thing about good manners is that they set the table on which seduction can occur. A good deal of seduction, real or feigned, is about crossing boundaries. But for it to work the boundaries have to be established in the first place. Occasionally I will have a new client who is handsy from the get go. I have been escorting long enough to be able to deal with this but I make a point of not seeing this sort of client again.

Most men, however, are amazed and delighted when I take the lead. All of a sudden they are in the company of a pretty, beautifully dressed, gently eager young woman who makes a point of touching them, if only, at the beginning, on the arm. Sylvie is a very good listener. She leans in. Sometimes to the point where her dress falls a little open. She is a character from a lot of different fantasies but, at root, Sylvie is just the sort of girl my clients wish they had met years before. A bit sophisticated, comfortable with herself and, behind closed doors, when a man is really relaxed and ready, very enthusiastic.

“Seductions by Sylvie” is turning out to be popular. Very popular. I have stopped running my ad regularly because most of my business is now with regulars. Which is much less stressful. Along with my standard dates I find most of my clients, once they are really comfortable with me, like to explore a few of my more exotic offerings. Which is, of course, more money for me.

Escorting can be a high stress, high burnout business but, by insisting on seduction I find I am deeply relaxed most of the time. Especially with regulars who come for a couple of hours of sexy, exotic, escape. They understand what I do and they are so appreciative.